Your clothes don't define you

If you are a woman it is more than probable that you have ever heard something similar to: "are you going to go out dressed like that?", "don't you think your skirt is too short?", "you wear so much neckline, everybody is going to look at you"... or even "her shorts are too short even for summer, she has to be an easy girl", "if you go out dressed that way don't complain about the looks and the things men probably shout out to you", "with that dress you are provoking men", "you have to respect yourself so don't dress as a slut"... and not always they opine about how shorter is your skirt, how higher are your heels or how larger is your neckline, no; sometimes, people say as well: "oh, your skirt is under your knees, are you a nun or something?", "turnover collar? girl, this way no boy are going to like you" or "if you dress without neck-line, with dresses and skirts under the knees and withouth heels you probably are a frigid or you are trying to hide that you are a slut".

Sometimes, people think that they have the right to opine about what are you wearing or the way you like to dress and they feel with the enough power to judge you because of it, but they don't. The horrible point about that is that some people think that you are giving them the permission of taking advantage of you, of telling you this (shitty) stuff, of touching you, of kissing you because they think you were asking for it because of your clothes (of course, clothes can talk and when you say with your mouth "NO" you mean "yes, do it please, my clothes are, not just asking for it, they are begging for it"), please, guys. It gives me the creeps to listen when some woman get raped: "what she was wearing?", "was she drunk?", "was she drugged?" as if it was HER fault being raped because of her clothes (this is named "victim blaming"). When you say to some girl: "be careful with guys if you are going out dressed like that" or "it is normal guys shout out dirty things to you if your shorts are that short" you are justifying sexual harassment, even rape.

Is that fair? Is it fair to be judge and insulted because of the way we like to dress? I think it's not.

We dress as we want to dress and not to please somebody else.

WE ARE NOT THE WAY WE DRESS

NO MEANS NO

Why, boys and girls, need Feminism?

"You run like a girl", "you hit like a girl", "you are girly", "you aren't really strong, you seem like a girl", "men don't cry", "men have to be brave", "you are too sensitive for being a man", "do you like to go shopping? that it's not a man thing" "don't you like football? Are you a girl or something?", "don't be a pussy and have some balls, you are a man"... "Llora como mujer lo que no supiste defender como hombre" (Sultana Aixa, Boabdil's mother, the latest king of Granda).

How many times did you hear those kind of words? When being "like a girl" became something bad, something to be ashamed of? Men suffer machismo too. When you tell to a little boy that he hits like a girl because he cannot hit as harder as the other boys do, when you tell to a little boy that he runs like a girl because he runs slower than the other boys do, when you tell to a little boy that he can't cry because he is a boy and crying is not a men's thing you are perpetuating role-gender stereotypes and you are teaching to boys, as well as to girls, that being "girly" is a bad thing, that being "girly" means to be fragil, unuseful, delicate, fearful... Like if girls couldn't be strong, smart, powerful or brave. Men are at the feet of sexism too.

The Feminism fights for the abolishment of those gender roles which oppressed all of us in different ways: 

• If you, as a boy, can't throw a disk further than 20 metres, it is okay, tho; if you like to go shopping or wear makeup, it is okay, and that does not mean that you are less valuable, less valid or, even worse, less of a man. If you cry because you got hurt or because something broke your heart, it is okay to show it, it is okay to cry, it is okay to share and express feelings, that is not a "girl thing". If you like to wear dresses and skirts, it is okay, that does not mean that you are weird, crazy, dumb or less of a man.
• If you, as a girl, run faster than all of your mates, it is okay, and that does not mean that you are "like  a man", less of a women. If you don't like to wear makeup, to go shopping or shoes, it is okay, mate, that does not mean that you are not a true girl, that does not mean that you are a "marimacho" or "machorra" (what awful words, uh?). If you like to wear buns and baggy pants, it is okay, that does not mean that you cannot be beautiful.

And if you are a tall, strong man and you are a coquettish, little girl, it is okay too! But, keep always in mind that being a girl is a wonderful thing (I know a lot about it, I can swear) and being a boy it is as well and it doesn't mind what you wear, what you do, what you like... to be awesome as you are.

This is what Feminism looks like.

When did doing something "like a girl" become and insult?

Differences between Femi-nazi, "Hembrismo" and Misandry

The term "Femi-nazi" is a pejorative term used to identify feminist women in general. It also refers to the "exaggeration" as a mechanism to neutralize men. It was first used by a conservative northamerican named Rush Limbaugh during the 90's . He invented the term to disgrace the women fight for having control upon their fertility and pregnancy, that is, the legalization of the abortion. This way, Rush Limbaugh compared the Nazi Holocaust with the abortion.

The concept of "Hembrismo" is a fallacy as well as it is the term "femi-nazi". Why? Because these concept is based on a socio-economic system grounded on a matriarchy, that is to say, the moral superiority of women, which does not exist in the real world.

And, what is misandry? Misandry is the hate or aversion to men; and this is actually a real thing, not common, but real. Whereas misogyny goes always hand by hand with sexism, misandry is NOT comparable to feminism; they have nothing in common.

The terms Femi-nazi and Hembrismo are used by sexists to disgrace and discredit the feminist fight and as an excuse for sexist people to don't make a self-analysis of their sexist conducts. This two concepts only serve to prevail the differences between bith sexes and the machismo.

Why "Feminism" and not "Egalitarianism"?

I am going to send you to another blog (in Spanish) because it is really well explained why the Feminism is called like that and not Egalitarianism, because it is a really common question which has to be explained. It also explained a little more extended the origins of the term that we talked a bit about in the previous post. Hope you like it, guys.

http://bastadesexismo.blogspot.com.es/2014/08/el-origen-de-la-palabra-feminista_1.html

Origins of Feminism in Spain: what is it?

The term was first introduced during the XIX century. It is a way of living and thinking. The Feminism fights for the rights and opportunities of women and tries to make them be equal to men's rights.That's the goal, but being a feminist has to come alongside with the awareness of women about the suffered oppresion and abuse because of a patriarchal society and some men; and also the awareness of men that they have some priveleges women don't and that they live in a patriarchal society, so they have to support our fight, but never, EVER, lead it.

In Spain, despite there were different demands in the social field related to the inequalities between men and women (Concepción Arenal and Emilia Pardo Bazán wrote about this issue), this movement started with the will of women to vote and to decide it they want to establish the Second Republic (1931); so they fought to reach that right even if it was really difficult to achieve it. Women were very influenced by the Church and some people were afraid because if they could vote, they will probably do it against the Second Republic. But, one woman, Clara Campoamor, stood up for this right and talked in the Parliament about that need, because, althought she wanted the Second Republic to be established, she thought that women should decide from then on in the political future of the country. That led her to a disscusion in the Parliament with Victoria Kent.

Victoria Kent also believed that women should have the right to vote, but, as she wanted the Republic she was afraid that women could vote against it because of the huge influence the conservative forces had upon them.

Finally, the right to vote was achieved, the Second Republic emerged (1931 - 1936), and other rights like divorce or civil marriage were given too.